Authenticity Wins Every Time
Last night at 3am I made a post on social media that felt very vulnerable. It wasn’t even overly personal or off-topic for my business, but it felt vulnerable because I was showing the world an authentic part of myself that I usually keep private. Would I have made the post if I hadn’t had a few beers that night to help me sleep? Probably not. So today I woke up and asked myself…why does authenticity feel so scary sometimes?
I don’t think there’s just one answer. For me at least, it’s a mixed bag of intergenerational trauma, fear, and lack of experience in sharing from a vulnerable space. When people say that owning a business is also a personal development journey, they aren’t lying!
I’ve been on social media for a long time, and I’ve never shied away from sharing my opinions on controversial topics, or speaking up about issues that feel important to me, such as social justice issues or politics. So it has come as a surprise that showing up online and being visible is so terrifying.
My art has been a lesson on this as well. The art I make is, to many people, weird. Mixed media tapestry weaving is still a pretty niche thing. It’s not the first thing, or even one of the first things, that comes to peoples minds when they think about art. Usually painting, drawing, digital design, etc. is what comes to mind first. Textiles and fiber art is still trying to make it’s way into the “high art” world, since textiles and fiber have historically been seen as functional as opposed to artistic, as well as being in the realm of “women’s work”, which, well…patriarchy. “Women’s Work: The First 20,000 Years” By Elizabeth Wayland Barber and “Women’s Work: From Feminine Arts To Feminist Art” by Ferren Gipson are both fantastic books on this topic if you are interested in learning more. It’s a full circle moment that I chose an art form (or rather, it chose me) that feels like a physical representation of women’s empowerment, and even metaphorical threads that connect me to my female ancestors. My goal has always been to lift up, celebrate, and help empower other women.
I know that being an empowered woman myself is going to require getting used to vulnerability and visibility though. While I’m getting more comfortable with showing my art on social media and getting it listed on my website, there’s still some resistance around it. I’ve left pieces on the loom for weeks because I was scared to finish it, because that meant it would be time to list it. I’ve had ideas that I haven’t followed through on because they are “too weird” or “no one is going to buy that”. But every time I break through those limiting beliefs and get my art out there into the world, it feels incredible.
Sharing that vulnerable post last night feel good…cathartic even. And today I got to thinking about how authenticity is almost always the path to success, fulfillment, and happiness. Recently I listened to the “Coaches Coaching Coaches” episode on the Conspirituality podcast. I think coaching is amazing and fills a huge need in the business world, but lately there has been a lot of inauthenticity in pursuit of money. In the episode, they shared a clip of a training done by a coach who is telling people that it’s ok if you don’t even know what kind of coach to be or how you want to help people yet, you should just get started. WHAT! I can’t imagine hiring a business coach that has never owned a business, or a “six-figure mentor” that has never actually made six-figures. This sort of devious smoke-show not only hurts the paying clients, but the coach as well. Doing something simply for the money, without meaning and joy behind it, is a recipe for burnout and lack of fulfillment.
I, too, have made past business choices where money was the main pursuit. I’m not saying that I’m above chasing financial success as the main goal…in late-stage capitalism, I don’t think anyone is immune to such a thing. But what I have learned from making both the wrong choices and the right ones, is that going on the path that feels authentic and true to myself, leads to success and happiness even if I can’t logically see how it will lead to that in the beginning, or even if it’s downright terrifying to think about.
Following our intuition and curiosity is the fastest way to start living a more authentic life. Intuition and authenticity are best friends! I have had SO much resistance on this new business path. My intuition said ‘YES’ while my logical brain said ‘WTF’ for a solid seven months before I even started my business. But I have never felt more fulfilled, happy, and feeling life my life is going in the right direction.
I want to see more women in pursuit of their authenticity…I want to see their weird art, unique business ideas, blogs, books, handmade items, services, etc. And I want to see the magical places it takes them in life. I think we can change the world just by showing up as our true selves, even if it’s a little scary. The world needs what we want to offer. I’m going to keep practicing showing up as my authentic self as well. I do think it’s more of a practice than a linear pursuit, but it’s one that is certainly worth the time and courage.